you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
