On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
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I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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