So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
