I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
