is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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