Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
