I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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