he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
