Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
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I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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