girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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