Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
