She is in my trunk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dicks are not precious.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
