Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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