Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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