How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
