ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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