Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
