There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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