Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so explain again why im purple
no
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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