Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
