I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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