I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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