There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
