Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
