This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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