oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
