They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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