do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
