Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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