We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
