If i come over, it means nothing
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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