After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize