Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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