FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
