I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
