Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
