Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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