I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You took a bar mat shot.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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