Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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