My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
