I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize