That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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