OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Never joke about your clitoris.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
