I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
only if we run a train.
done.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
