But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
