Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
