Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
