she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
