you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
