I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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