so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
