I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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