Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
