fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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