I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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