You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
