I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
