I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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