You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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