Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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