My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize