Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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