i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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