He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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