I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
