I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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