i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
